1 05 2009

Sometimes the world blows up…around you when you least expect it. And sometimes you’re the one who set off the bomb.

Once the bomb’s gone off, what else is there left to do but gather up the pieces of what’s left and start over? It’s at these moments that I feel most alone. How can one salvage bits and pieces- when it’s no longer clear what’s needed to get from here to there? when you no longer know if there is where you want to go?

Maybe it’s something more like a natural disaster, where Mother Nature is just doing what is best for the earth as she see’s it or sometimes it just the bloody economy!!!!!. BUT if I apply what I think I’ve learned… I know it’s all my own doing. So, why did I do this? Why did I blow up my own life?

I’m a believer in new beginings ……

So what do I change?

I thought I WAS changing- maybe I was trying to change too fast. I’m definitely impatient, impulsive… and thoughtful. Do I wait too long for the thoughtful part? Sometimes I only find the reasons for my actions much (much) after I’ve acted. I wonder if I ever learn BEFORE I act?

There are people around me who continue to serve as my inspiration. They- from my view- have it together even when the world may be falling apart around them. It’s almost like they live in the eye of the storm. They are my strength in hard times. They give me hope.

I do know that I can’t give up. I really do cherish this life that I’m living and the miracle that is life- that is this world.




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